My Sorrows Swim

Chris Knight has been lying to me, and I am not entirely emotionally prepared to handle the repercussions.

A part of my formative years were spent with Val Kilmer at the pinnacle of his bleached-blonde glory in Real Genius. This movie taught me everything I know about being a smart person. It taught me I could be brilliant and casual, doggedly bookish and comically irreverent, blow the bell curve and emit sex appeal. Chris Knight gave me hope that I could be smart and cool at the same time.

But most of all, Real Genius instilled in me a sense that there was something inherently necessary in being brilliant. Sure, we are encouraged to get good grades, make the honor roll, get into a good college and all that. But there is a glass ceiling to precisely how smart we want our smart kids to be. We have as many stigmatized labels for smart people as we do the truly inept. Americans simply do not trust people who are too smart, too educated. Straight A's are congratulated but curve-breakers are disparaged. Be smart enough to make a living in marketing, but not smart enough to hold the patents on marketable items . There is a careful balance between being a good student and being a social outcast, and not the television caricatures of cheerleaders versus geeks. Chris Knight was my role model. He knew that, come hell or high water, the world would always come back to its upper 2%.

The same thing that has made your life miserable can make it great: your brain. When you're smart, people need you; and you can learn how to work that for fun and profit.

And I believed him. Chris Knight convinced me as easily as he convinced his naive compatriot, Mitch. I was sold all the way to the Jiffy Pop real estate crescendo that gave way to Tears for Fears finally welcoming me to my life.

So, how did I end up over-educated? I skimmed over high school; I puddle-jumped across college; I am fast on my way to multiple doctorate. I have a nice little vitae to supplement the transcripts and such. And with all this on my side, what great career have I attained? None. Oh sure, I am employed. But it is a job, not a career - a few years of experience without insurance or permanence. I struggle to pay my bills, let alone begin a substantive savings account. All these years I have been working towards a promise that intellect would prove an investment.

The worst of it is that it seems to run in the family. I have an uncle who was faced with similar problems in the 70's. His plight was so bad, Time Magazine ran a story on him.

Education

Too Many Doctors

Jun. 29, 1970

After five years of hard work at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, David Ernst, 26, will get his Ph.D. in August and emerge as one of the
best-trained young physicists in America. Unfortunately, that may not be enough
to assure him job security in his field.

Is that fucked, or what?

What was Chris Knight talking about? Even now I cannot seem to shake the notion that Chris was right and somehow I am not executing this plan correctly. Am I just being impatient and the call for my brain will be soon coming? Am I supposed to be seeking out a career through some diabolical Mensa career counseling service? I keep turning to Chris for guidance, carefully examining Lazlo's descent into the steam tunnels for keys, for clues. As far as I can tell, Chris' only comment is, "I drank what?"

Sorry, Chris. No amount of drink can drown these babies.

1:54 AM :: ::

3 Comments:

• brilliant! you inspire me to write better!
  
  also, david was in time magazine? he studied physics? i don't know ANYTHING about our family!

  By  Unknown, at 1/11/05 07:09  

• Chin up, kid, being brilliant really does get you places, and I love you. :)

  By  b.i.t., at 3/11/05 12:41  

• On a certain level, yes, we did get hosed. Hosed quite badly I might add. As much as I would truly like to believe that "education is its own reward," I do think a nice paycheck would supplement the sense of victory rather nicely.
  
  I'm also going to be lazy and break the blogging rules and actually connect a comment to your previous post to this one. Life isn't fair, but that's the way things are getting done tonight.
  
  I know this last year has been rough on you. "Rough" is probably about as accurate as saying that "9 out of 10 doctors think a shotgun blast to the face is survivable." Nevertheless, the future contains a path down a yellow-bricked road titled "Ph.D." You just need to catch the nearest whirlwind there! I think I'll stick to one before I worry about the multiple part ;-). Thank you Heidi for being a part of my life and being the one person I can always chat with to remind me that as pretentious as it may be, the top 2% is where it's at.
  
  If and when I'm at CMU I want you to be in Chicago so I can hop on a train and spend the weekend in Boy's Town with you. I think it's the people you meet along the way that make the Ph.D worthwhile. The people that vindicate the toil and remind you that even though your degree may stand for "Piled Higher and Deeper," your the one that has to be addressed "doctor."
  
  See you in Chicago ;-).

  By  Chris/Stewy, at 7/11/05 00:55  

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